Weaning off Lexapro: Days 45 – 71

Meds for Days 45 – 70:

  • 10mg Lexapro, normal thyroid meds
  • vitamins when I remembered
  • electrolyte beverage on days when I remembered
  • walking, some bicycling

Symptoms for Days 45 – 70:

  • Pretty neutral (that’s why I had stopped recording for a while — it started to feel like every day was pretty similar to the day before it)

Meds for Day 71 (today):

  • 5mg Lexapro (!!!), normal thyroid meds
  • 10mg Prozac
  • vitamins, chewable
  • electrolyte beverage
  • 22,000+ steps of walking

Symptoms for Day 71 (today):

  • At some point, I had a brief moment of vertigo
  • I got a stomach ache
  • I had a lot of reflux and when I laid down, it [censored]
  • My bf, who I’ve been fine with for weeks now, said one little thing I shot off to instant rage/hatred

I am not looking forward to the next few weeks at this dose. (But today’s walk was lovely!)

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Weaning off Lexapro: Day 17

Sunset, pale blue sky with pale, lit clouds and a single tree

Sunset tonight

Meds Today:

  • 10mg Lexapro (!!!), norm. thyroid meds
  • calcium tablet
  • exercise (walking, mostly)
  • 10mg Prozac at night

Symptoms:

  • Tired
  • Light-headed at times
  • Emotionally pretty neutral

Journal Items:

  1. Very, very exhausted this morning
  2. Got up early for breakfast, but then fell back asleep for hours
  3. Studied
  4. Walked to a distant store for a couple of items
  5. Tried to study more
  6. Walked and took a bus for Pokémon game (met up with at least 15 people, I think!)
  7. Studied more and lifted a few weights
  8. Bf home late from work, and is currently downstairs working so I’m not talking to him or anything yet (seems absorbed in work). Oh no wonder, he’s taking tomorrow off so he is probably working a lot of extra today.

Weaning off Lexapro: Day 16

Bright, maybe full moon behind a field of clouds, and tips of trees straight up

A field of clouds in front of the moon tonight

Wow, it’s the 16th day? That means I didn’t go down another 5mg when I was supposed to (after 2 weeks, so that would have been yesterday-ish). Close enough. And let me tell you, this is more scary now than before, after I had two intense days of anger (which I tend to then turn inward into hopelessness).

Today:

  • 15mg Lexapro, norm. thyroid meds
  • iron tablet, multivite tablet
  • exercise (walking & a little dancing & a little weights)

Symptoms:

  • Pretty neutral
  • Kind of pessimistic outlook but not upset or anything
  • Headaches

I painted yesterday evening. I wish I could share it on here. It’s perfect for a Homesick person. I’m not angry anymore (like I was yesterday and the day before). But I’m pretty scared for the upcoming days, if I really do start to reduce my Lexapro again tomorrow morning. Oh, man. The part that I look forward to is the one dose of Prozac. Last time, that took away all of my anxiety the next day! That was miraculous and I’d love to have that every day. You really can’t appreciate how debilitating anxiety is until you have a space without it. Those so-called “normal” humans have no idea. No idea, at all. I begrudge them.

Oh, also, my psychiatrist wrote me back a very kind message in response to what I sent yesterday when I was quite angry and had let her know what had upset me so much during our appointment. UPDATE: Just to clarify, I had been angry with my psychiatrist but that is different from what I was angry at yesterday & the day before. That latter anger went away either last night after painting, or during the night, or this morning.

Weaning off Lexapro: Day 3

Sunset with a full moon in view

Full moon at sunset

Today:

  • 15mg Lexapro (with thyroid meds)
  • Magnesium-whatever-else vitamin; fish oil capsule; chewable multi-vite
  • Hardly any exercise at all, though

Symptoms:

  • Pretty chill all day
  • Angry a few times but not strongly and not for long; a mild tingle of anxiety once because I’m taking an exam tomorrow, but only for a split second and it was gone
  • I wonder if my chillness of today is from the 10mg of Prozac last night? Sweet dawg, that’s all I can say.
  • Perhaps a few moments of a strange feeling when I blink/ turn my head, but very mild

Seriously, if weaning off of Lexapro proves detrimental, I will be requesting a low dose of Prozac to go along with the Lexapro in the future. Walking around and experiencing no anxiety? Hearing people argue and experiencing no anxiety? Fucking awesome. Maybe I was mad to think I’d feel better OFF of the drugs. Maybe what I needed was just a change in meds!

But, stay the course for now! I’m dying of curiousity to see how I feel w/o the Lexapro.

I didn’t take my final today after all. Studied the whooole day, with my bf’s help. I’ll take it tomorrow morning NO MATTER WHAT.

Weaning off Lexapro: Day 2

Mostly blue sky, a hint of ocean, and a piece of tree

Beautiful blue

Today:

  • 15mg Lexapro, in the morning (with usual thyroid med)
  • 1 fish oil capsule, 1 magnesium-something-or-other-vitamin
  • Some exercise (walking)
  • 10mg Prozac, before dinner

Symptoms:

  • Actually, I had moments of happiness. Maybe I am very excited about this process
  • I did get angry at one point but not more than I have on previous days. It didn’t last long, which is unusual for me
  • I still have cramps (unrelated)
  • By around 4pm, I started to feel light-headed and a little dizzy. By 6pm, I took the Prozac because it was just getting worse and I was at a dinner party at my Uncle’s house with family and I wanted to feel okay. It worked very rapidly.

Alas, the dinner party started out fantastic. My brother told some growing-up stories I hadn’t heard before and they were amazing. I haven’t laughed that hard in AGES. But it ended with an ugly twist. I’m not sure if my uncle was just drunk or frankly, I believe, high. I don’t know. But he did say some very odd things, even for him, and for a while talked a lot about race and made someone at the table feel wretched and she left for a while and when returned, had been crying. Nobody knew what to do. It had been such a fun evening before things got weird.

Also, I didn’t study very much and tomorrow is my final. I’m probably going to fail. Since it feels hopeless, I find that I don’t care about it as much as I should. :/

Weaning off of Lexapro

Water colored blue and pink from the sunset

Sunset on the water

Hi all,

Today begins a true attempt at weaning off of Lexapro 20mg, with permission and help from my psychiatrist. Update: I have been on the drug for over 10 years straight.

I definitely want to document this process so I will know if the withdrawal becomes too unbearable, or in the end if I just need to go back on because I was better on it, etc.

Today:
* 15mg Lexapro in the morning (with usual thyroid dose)
* 1 capsule of fish oil and a multivitamin, just because
* I must get in some solid exercise, just because
* tonight, 10mg of Prozac (this will allegedly ease the withdrawal symptoms because of the longer half life) UPDATE: I did not take it because I didn’t feel dizzy or zappy or anything

Symptoms:
* Have had diarrhea and cramps for 2 days, totally unrelated (could be PMS, food not agreeing with me, or a bug)
* Very anxious about being on the 15mg today — waiting for the electric zappies to hit me at any time, but they haven’t started yet.

That’s all there is to report about this for now. 🙂

In other news, I’m doing terribly at focusing on schoolwork. TERRIBLY. But within three days of now, I will have taken another Final exam. I’m not sure if I’ll pass it.