Wow. I’m here. It’s been a really long time. For over two months, recently, I had a different computer and it wouldn’t load WordPress. So that’s part of it.
Some things have changed big time. Some things have not changed, at least on the outside. But I have changed on the inside.
It would be nice if I could use this space to keep my thoughts organized this time. I know it isn’t realistic; some parts of me seem static, like my cycling interests which control where I am able to focus on any given day(week)[month]. No matter how much I wish that I could keep to one thing each and every day of a year, it just doesn’t seem possible.
But, regardless, part of what changed in the past couple of months has affected me deeply. I feel very different inside. It has rippled out into some changes in behavior that I am keeping strong each day, in the hopes of them becoming habits.
For example, food. Before my motivation wanes and exhaustion sets in again, I am fostering better habits. I am keeping certain foods on hand that can always been easily consumed (eg. carrots, pre-washed spinach, potatoes, broccoli, bananas). I am spending some time at least every couple of days to prepare some food. For example, tomorrow I am cooking a spaghetti squash. I have made tacos. I’ve had canned soup. I made two veggie pizzas that I cut up and put in the freezer for future days.
Portions. I’m being conscious of portion sizes. Even though I hate watching my share get eaten by others, I can either take my whole portion and set half aside for future days right away, or allow my remaining share to go to others and feel happy with myself about it, not envious.
Going to bed. I am going to bed at a decent hour every night. I will continue to do this.
I’m going elsewhere to study. I am nearly all packed for tomorrow, where I will go to a library for most of the day in order to focus on my current class. I just need to finish with this computer and pack it away. Tomorrow morning, I’ll pack up some carrots, apple slices, and perhaps a PBj for lunch.
I have to go.