This so not good. I’m avoiding things again. It’s as if I’m super depressed and anxious. This is really bad. I didn’t even go to school today. I did have a mild fever. But I don’t know that I’m physically ill.
I can’t do it. And now it’s dark outside and I haven’t even gotten out of pajamas. I studied for at least 30 minutes today… That’s…something. ?! Sort of.
My bf and I spent the entire day on Saturday helping me to clean out my office at work and I got to organize all of the files on the computer so they make more sense and my replacement will be able to find the templates she’ll need and stuff.
But Sunday was horrible. Horrible. And I felt so bleck and down and awful. I did accomplish a lot of little things, though, like washing the sheets and getting my address changed and setting up a mail forward since we’re moving soon and whatnot.
Oh, that was yesterday. So yesterday was horrible. We went to his folks’ place for dinner, and thankfully they carried on the conversations without much participation from me because I couldn’t. I was sort of floating in and out and felt like I was dissociating for parts of it.
My bf is on his way home and asked if I’d like to eat at this restaurant nearby for dinner. We’re out of food here because I haven’t felt like walking the few blocks to the grocery store in a couple of weeks now. But today marks a day where I don’t want to leave the apartment even for eating out. What am I going to do? I need to normalize again somehow. I’ll have to somehow make myself go to campus tomorrow. I HAVE to do it.