Log: May 5 (Tue) Lots to do!

May 5 (Tue): NO Therapy; Work 10:00a – 4:30pVisit w/ Shelly maybe for lunch; Music practice w/”Peter” 6:45p; (I haven’t yet decided)

Dinner Plan:
*Complete Protein: (Maybe brown Jasmine rice) + (Unknown nut equivalent) …SUCCESS (brown Jasmine rice and pine nuts)
*Vegetable: Steamed green beans …SUCCESS (boiled green beans) Also had some carrot + hummus, and half an avocado, and a little bit of salmon

To Buy:
*Bread for lunch PBJs …SUCCESS
*Carrots for lunch …SUCCESS
*Hummus for lunch …SUCCESS
*A non-broken watch with multiple alarms feature

To Do:
*At work: Invoice#1wj (3/4 done; waiting on supervisor’s revisions)
*At work: Invoice#2sur (3/4 done; waiting on supervisor’s revisions)
*At work: Invoice#3dc (3/4 done; waiting on supervisor’s revisions)
*At work: Invoice#4gas (3/4 done; waiting on supervisor’s revisions)
*Any time: At least 2 Accounting lectures (completed 1)

*Any time: Apply for Music Workshop scholarship
*After work: Rinse and chop up carrots and bring to work
*After work: Make six more PBJs and bring to work
*After work: Practice music
*Any time: Write and send thank you letter to my aunt & grandma

To Pick Up From Uncle’s House:
*Last month’s therapy bill to submit to insurance
*My VitaMix
*My birth certificate, for passport application
*My back-up drive
*Some earrings
*My hairbrush

The log part for today: It was hard for me to get out of bed this morning. I had taken 1 mg of clonazepam last night and also we’d been doing our computer work and went to bed too bloody late. I’m going to fall apart soon, for real. I’m actually going to leave work now, 1.5 hours early, and just go to my uncle’s house and crash. I’ve had enough social time for now. I love “Peter’s” presence but I find I’m not relaxing into it enough yet. I’m still in a mode too intense to be sustainable. Like, too intensely trying to learn, too intensely trying to observe, too intensely trying to listen and understand. Just too intense and my energy’s depleted. I need to go home, alone, in a dark room, by myself, and just recharge my battery. De-stress. De-worry. De-neurotic-ize myself. It’s my fear-of-failure coming at me, btw. It’s driving me insane with its intensity. I’ve got to chill the fuck out.

Oh yeah, but I’d done the bulk of breakfast this morning, I think. I was pretty fast. Made it to work at an okay time. Today’s Mood Ranking: 4-5

UPDATE!!! I left work an hour early. I biked nearly all the way to my uncle’s and then “Peter” let me know he was going to be back a bit early, too. I was feeling a lot better thanks to the bike ride, so I went there after all. We grocery shopped and cooked and then it was too late for practicing music. Got ready for bed and went to sleep. Evening Mood Ranking: 5, 5.5

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