Log: Apr 2

Apr 2 (Thu): Work 9:30a – 5:30p, Dr. appt 2p @clinic, REST after work

Flowers from yesterday

Flowers from yesterday

[Continued from previous day’s log] “Peter” is so nice. Even in the middle of the night, during a coughing fit, he offered to go get me some more hot water, since that’s the only thing that seems to soothe it. (Sidenote: I’d taken 50mg of diphenhydramine. Why couldn’t I sleep at all? I didn’t even feel capable of it – almost like I’d had caffeine. But I didn’t have anything caffeinated before bed, unless guaifenesin acts as a stimulant? The bottle doesn’t indicate that it would — the instant release one I got says take every 4 hours)  40 minutes before he had to leave for work, I took 1mg of lorazepam. I decided my anxiety must be keeping me awake.

So I took that, I got up and showered quickly, came up and made us some eggs in a hurry, and then he had to leave. I drank more of my ginger-lemon-honey tea and then laid back down on my bed and was able to sleep for 2 hours. Then another coughing fit so here I am. After I post this, I’m going to do some work that I can do from home, and then I have my doctor appointment. This has all been a lot of really random, probably boring details for y’all, but. These are my days. 🙂 I like “Peter”. I like ginger-lemon-honey tea. I like sleep.

My mood did change as the day progressed. I went to the doctor. She suspects that I have Whooping Cough. Did I not get my last booster? Maybe not. Well, she’s sure enough that she went ahead and started to treat me on antibiotics, and told me to stay at home for 3 days worth of the antibiotics and then I won’t be contagious anymore, if I have it. Otherwise, I am highly contagious to the public.

So I did first try to get this laptop fixed before going back home (wearing a mask). But after several hours, it was not meant to be for today. They wouldn’t do it until I’d run a backup of everything on here. The backup took too long so in the end, I had to just crawl to the pharmacy and then back home. It took forever to find lunch food out there. I got home and went straight to my bed, where I’ve been sleeping/coughing ever since. Now there’s a little blood when I cough.

I’m bummed, to say the least. If I’m not allowed to leave my house tomorrow, I can’t attend “Peter”‘s family’s non-Seder passover-food dinner event, and they had even located gluten free matzah. To say the least, there’s no way my uncle would allow me to attend it, even though “Peter”‘s family knows I might have this and said it’s ok to come anyway. But it is such a bummer. There’s kind of no chance I’ll be feeling better tomorrow. I’m not healing at all. I can’t sleep. I’m going to still be sick for my family’s bicycling trip. My uncle thinks I need to not attend it; YEAH RIGHT!!!!! I don’t care if it kills me, I am going to be there!!! My parents, to say the least!!!! BUMMMMMED and kind of hopeless-feeling. Kinda like, scared & alone feeling. Even though my doctor-in-training cousin told me days ago he suspected Whooping cough from my symptoms, I didn’t believe it. Now I’ve missed dinner and don’t know what to eat. At least I know how to cook eggs again now. I can do that.

[I’m tagging PTSD now because my throat is so sore, it’s hard for me to swallow. Those who remember from previous posts know that I get very anxious/depressed/hopeless whenever my throat is sore. My therapist thinks of it as body memory from something (specific) in childhood involving my throat/not being able to breathe.] Today’s Mood Ranking: 4-5-6


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