Well, I crashed last night. I went to bed early and fell instantly to sleep. But I also had turned off my cellphone for the first time in many months.
This morning came and I could not bring myself to turn it back on. Yesterday’s anxiety attack had begun at the moment of glancing at my cellphone so naturally I couldn’t glance at my cellphone this morning. As much as I wanted to play music from it and assure a couple of people that was in fact still alive (one of whom I was supposed to meet at 11am), I couldn’t touch it or look in its direction.
When I got out of bed, I left it off, got ready for my day, and crept upstairs to eat breakfast. *caught*. My uncle pounced and tried to grill me as to why he could hear my alarm going off for two hours and what was I thinking. Add in other stuff I’m too tired to type up but y’all know how it goes.
Okay. Bin parts of yesterday, bin parts of today (already). TOMORROW, I’ll try again. TOMORROW, I will aim for some sort of forward or at least plateaued momentum. (Hey, at least I was out of bed before 11am again.)
But I am concerned that if anxiety attacks become a norm, I’ll end up back on the Wellbutrin. I know, it’s only been 2 days of it, but enough that I’m concerned.