Ooohhhh shit. That. (Journal#070)

Yeah. So something happened the other day (last week? The week before?) I kind of blotted it out after that. Um yeah so I went on Facebook to pull another picture down (I was obsessively sending animal pics to “Joe”) and there was a little shock in my Messages. My ex had written me.

I told “Joe” and then managed to not-think about it until “Joe” reminded me just now that he had offered moral support if I wanted help pulling all my pictures down. And I was like Why again? Ooooooohhhhh fuck. That.

I hadn’t ever dealt with Facebook after my divorce. I never even changed my last name on there. It’s 99% dead to me. I didn’t want to sit down and figure out who I needed to block or why. So I just left it. I don’t post. But I log in now and again to pull pictures.

It is amazing the amount of guilt it brings up in me. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to block him.

But I AM strong enough to one day pull all of my pictures down, save them elsewhere, and never access it ever again.

UPDATE: I got up the nerve to tell my aunt & uncle. It stayed calm. I’m going to download all of my pics one of these days, when I’m feeling quite brave and/or on an anti-anxiety medicine. As I will be shortly. Because thinking it over as something that really happened is kind of insanely anxiety producing.

I had originally wanted to remain friends with my ex. But waaaay to much shit has gone down since I’d expressed that. Way too much. But there’s a part of me that’s still just scared and doesn’t know what’s happening or why. I don’t know how I could have done what I did that initiated all of this. I don’t know what is good and what is bad, what is healthy, what is wrong. When I forget for a long time, it’s easier, but there are actually some things that really did happen. I don’t want to remember.


4 thoughts on “Ooohhhh shit. That. (Journal#070)

  1. I blocked my ex boyfriend on facebook after he kept writing things on my page like we were still together. It was making me uncomfortable. He would post things like “here is a video the kids might like ” It was annoying because all he did was complain about the kids when we were together. Suddenly, he was looking to my friends like he was so nice to my kids.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh wow, I didn’t know that. I have the pictures separated into a lot of different albums on FB. But I’ll check out YouTube and see if there are “how to” videos for what you describe here. 🙂 Thanks!!

      Liked by 1 person

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