Officially Overwhelmed. (Journal#063)


I bought another flower to bring to work this morning. It used the last $2.50 I’d budgeted for eating out this month.

Today, I am officially overwhelmed. There is too damn much going on this week and I can’t focus.

  • I did get the report out on time for work. I made the deadline by about 2 minutes.
  • My brother is here now.
  • I want to visit him at his place; he is moving to a beautiful location. It cannot be until 2 weekends from now, however, to be in daylight.
  • I was planning to see “Joe” once this weekend, but change of plans.
  • I will be in a different city over the weekend, dog-sitting for some of my awesome cousins. But the number of questions are hurting my brain:
    • When will I leave here via train, when will they pick me up from the nearest stop? How much will it cost?
    • What will I do while there, aside from playing with their adorable puppy. Oh… and picking up feces! Remind me to bring a mask.
    • What will I eat?
    • I’ll have to pack and prepare for staying the night there.
    • When will they return on Sunday?
    • When will they drive me home? (How much food should I expect to bring myself?)
  • I will be missing a BBQ in honor of my brother and his gf who is flying up for the weekend. I’m actually okay with that, because y’all know I started getting stressed at the parties. But I do feel guilty for missing it.
  • I might try to spend some time with “Joe” after work on Thursday instead.
    • But, that is when my brother’s gf arrives, I think. Do I need to be there for her arrival?
    • I’ve only been working half days lately. I’m considering trying to get my ass out of bed at an actually decent hour and then I could leave early, spend a little time with “Joe”, and also be there when my brother’s gf arrives.
    • But it’s been a month since I’ve made it to work before noon. I’m genuinely scared to try.
  • Paperwork. I’ve fallen so behind on paperwork. My insurance is giving me a really hard time and I’m losing track of what they’ve gotten and what they haven’t, what they’re processing and what they’re not, etc. They take months to process a manually-submitted claim, I think, and I have been doing a poor job of keeping record.
  • UPDATE: Also, I see my therapist and psychiatrist tomorrow, one in the morning and one later in the afternoon. I don’t recall what time nor where her office is, but I’ll figure that out at some point. I do remember mis-timing it last week and kind of having to jog there from the train. So it can’t be too far.

Someone online gave me creep-out vibes (amazing how some people can manage that in just a handful of sentences) so I’m kind of weirded-out feeling today. Haven’t normalized yet.

I did wake up around 7-ish for work this morning. I was fairly wide awake. BUT, my heart was beating too hard/fast, so I didn’t get out of bed. Why is going to work on time giving me anxiety? O_o Oh, well. A mystery for a different day.

Also pending, my company might be moving this week. But we still don’t know for sure. And thus have no moving company chosen or anything particularly boxed for moving (how can I begin boxing without boxes?). Meh!


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