WHAT IF (again) (Journal#028)

What if I do deserve to be alive?
What if there is a god and the god did mean for me to be here?
What if there is something I can do?

What if not everybody hates me?
What if my negativity is okay? What if it doesn’t make me a bad person?
What if I’m a good person?

What if I’m just a person, neither good or bad or relevant or irrelevant?
What if I deserve this life?
What if I deserve all of the good things?
What if this isn’t some giant mistake, meant for someone more deserving? What if it’s for me?

What if I’m allowed to live this life? What if it’s okay?
What if the potential is all there for me? What if these opportunities are for me after all? What if I’m deserving?

What if I deserve to be alive? What if it’s okay that I’m alive?
What if it’s okay that I’m alive and do not suffer as so many do?

What if I could stop being so afraid?

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4 thoughts on “WHAT IF (again) (Journal#028)

  1. Of COURSE*** you deserve to be alive, and all the good things that come from it. It would be wonderful if you could stop being afraid – I wish this for you. I believe you’re not a bad person – you’ve just been incredibly hurt by somehow being told this so much.

    Liked by 1 person

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