Quick thoughts on improved mood (Journal#023)

Autumn

Autumn

I wish I knew why my mood has been improving this week, whereas last week it went down into the gutter. I can think of several things that are different, and I imagine it must have to do with one or more of them:

  • There are no impending large-group dinners
  • There are no impending changes to my usual routine (until the 11th)
  • I started taking Vitamin D capsules (I realized I am not getting outside in daylight much, if at all, anymore)
  • I’m taking my multi-vits regularly now, too, but frankly they’re gummies and I doubt more than one spec is actually available for my body to absorb. But they’re yummy… 😀
  • I am not eating meat at present
  • I am being MUCH more careful to eat specifically for managing blood sugar (complex carbs/fibers, protein)
  • I have made myself go to bed before 11pm for 3 nights in a row now (although I haven’t been asleep for most of that time, I do have a bit more energy today, so I imagine that even laying there wide awake is helping).
  • I attended meditation on a work night this week
  • I have a friend here now
Autumn Leaves

Autumn Leaves

Current Concerns:

  • I still need to set aside time to let myself grieve for my grandpa, who just died. I have been sent audio clips of my dad telling stories about him, I have been sent pictures of him throughout life, I am supposed to call my grandma and my other aunt. I have not dealt with any of it yet. I haven’t even talked with my cousin yet. I need to find out when/where the memorial will take place because I want to attend. I need to let myself begin grieving but it is hard to let myself put aside the time for it.
  • That Topic hasn’t come up at all since the last time I wrote about it
  • Work is very stressful lately but I’m trying to detach from the issues and just plug along with imaginary blinders on
  • The reason I’ve been going to bed early the past 3 nights is because there has been a lot of yelling in the house. I’ve used earplugs, air filters, fish filters and music to screen it out. It’s given me some quiet time to just sit in bed and read my new Garfield book though, or watch silly comedies on YouTube, so I’m sort of glad for it, even though it does raise my adrenaline when the voice shakes through the walls.
  • My uncle has already noticed the vast change in my mood (for the better)
  • I don’t know if my mom has noticed yet, although we had a cheerful chat yesterday evening (I was so excited about having finally dealt with my 5-month long insurance issue)
  • I’m anxious because another cousin is going to visit soon, and I’m really scared that my mood will plummet and I’ll ruin that visit too. I really want to see this cousin; I’m just scared. Because I really wanted to see my brother and my other cousin last week too, but I totally botched that.
  • I have been clenching my jaw like crazy during the night all of this week! OUCH
  • I have only showered once this week and I am not interested in showering right now.
  • I am out of clean pants and socks. I’ve worn the same pair of pants all week. I HAVE to do my laundry tomorrow!!

P.S. I am experimenting with adding *two* pics per post now… Because I take so many more pictures than I post, and I’m sad that I don’t get to use these extra photos. 😉

Tangible improvements (I’ll add to this as the week goes on):

  • Attended meditation on a work night for the first time
  • Talked with insurance for an entire hour and got so much resolved!
  • Painted several of my finger nails for the first time in 20 years
  • Was actually willing to go on a walk one night (but ended up driving because we were going to pick up a lot of stuff)
  • Have placed many calls in trying to clean up my 5 month long insurance mess!
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