[Explanation of the following post: I have these two days off from work because my mom and brother are visiting. Meanwhile, we are also preparing for a massive Halloween party. There has been a lot of pressure on me to “show” my mom that I am doing well now, since the last time she saw me, I was just finishing a mental breakdown and having to leave state in rush. So I was doing very terribly last time she and I were together. It is a lot of pressure to try and show only positives to her, but that is what I was asked to do (not by her). I’ll tell you, though, that I am being more honest and up front with her than I was “supposed” to be. 🙂 And I think it is going okay. I think she sees that I really am doing better, EVEN IF NOT PERFECT.]
Today, my main goal is SURVIVAL. I don’t always do well with changes in routine or with different people around than usual.
Dear you. I miss you. I feel alienated from you. You don’t seem yourself. There is something wrong. Is it stress? Is it from this huge party? Is it the job location change? Impending resignation? Something different? You don’t talk with me anymore and vica versa, which is sad for me.
Dear me. I’m sorry. I want to protect you from your own mood swings. I want you to stay upbeat and focused. I know what you want to do with your life (animal rescue). I know that it’s impossible with your allergies. We’ve just got to come up with some new way of approaching it.
Stay strong. Let the people come and go. Let him say anything at all. Just stay on track. Do some of the following:
- Vet appointment …SUCCESS
- Call pharmacy and get script transferred …FAIL
- Put away clean clothes …SUCCESS
- Dust or vacuum main level …SUCCESS (dusted)
- Mop …FAIL
- Walk dogs …SUCCESS
- Work on “down” with new gal again (I started last night and she began to pick it up!!!) …SUCCESS
- Take a rest (which I’m about to do!) …SUCCESS
- Showed my mom around the big city and my workplace! …SUCCESS
- Try to spend time with my brother, who is also visiting right now …UNSURE
Other: I applied for renewed business license and signed contract for small job.
Today I learned: I’ve already gotten very attached to the new dog. She’s really, really sweet. Actually, I wish I weren’t so allergic to her. I would have her sleep in my room with me.