I’m actually not going to say much about this yet. I’m sort of regretting having listed it as its own topic. But I do have a few thoughts on the topic so far (I’m writing this on Oct 27th, actually).
I’m trying this out for three reasons so far:
- Help with sleep
- Help with mood, in emergencies only
- Help with eczema (in cream form)
- Future plans: Help with going down off of my antidepressants
I have experimented with doses a little bit now, and find that the smallest possible dose, either inhaled or consumed, about an hour or two before I go to sleep, helps me to fall asleep and to STAY asleep. I’m talking a low dose, below what you’d need in order to feel “high”, and more toward the indica strains. I only need to use it every other day or even every 3 days for it to help with sleep: it must stay in the system, even though I’m not actively feeling it. I haven’t taken ANY sleep medicine at all since getting my card a month or so ago. My therapist is very supportive on this topic and is amazed how much it has helped me with sleep.
I have experimented with doses a little bit for help with mood (emergencies only) just twice now. Emergencies constitute any time I feel like cutting myself or feel myself sliding in that direction (and I have PROMISED_MYSELF that I won’t cut again–I only made that promise after getting my card, because I suspected this would help those feelings go away). Yesterday, I tried a strain more toward the sativa side, because it was still early in the day and I had a lot to do. It actually worked. I didn’t know if it would. I inhaled just one time and that was enough. It turned my mood upside down (felt content instead of melancholy). It did not make me sleepy and I was able to complete all of my goals for the day. Normally a “mood” like that would last me several days minimum, but this turned it around in a matter of minutes.
I have tried it for anxiety just once so far. I have not taken any of my prescription anxiety medicine since getting my card. But, I have had 4 times now when I probably should have taken anxiety medicine (or used this) but tried to wait until night to use this for sleep. Now that I have a strain that doesn’t make me sleepy, I believe it is possible I could use this during the day for anxiety, but again, I’m hesitant. I don’t want to use this too much, and I certainly don’t want it to affect me at work or make me at all sleepy during the day (I have enough problems with that as it is). And I don’t want anybody to know I’m trying this. But I feel quite positive that I’ll figure something out that works.
As for the eczema, it has been less successful. It cleared up about 80% of the eczema but not 100%, which means that in the end, I’ll probably have to use a steroid cream anyway, which I’m trying to avoid because those are unhealthy for my skin in the long run. I’m going to keep trying this cream for another week or two before taking out the steroid cream, though. 80% is still pretty impressive, considering how many products I’ve tried in the past that gave a 0%!
I am NOT using any of this daily because I don’t actually want to become addicted. (Although, it is currently replacing sleep medicine and two anti-anxiety medicines, which I was taking at LEAST every other day before, sometimes needing multiple in a day.) I do hope to use this in the future when I’m stable enough to try going off of antidepressants, but after my recent mood slips, there’s no way I’m going off of my antidepressants yet. I know that this will help, not only from talking with other people who have used it for the same reason, but also because the handful of times I’ve missed my morning dose of my antidepressants but had this in my system, I did NOT experience the electric shock feelings I otherwise WOULD. That is AMAZING.
Anyway. It’s an underground topic.
Oh, and I’ve also stopped all experiments with alcohol. I was trying that this past year during and after my last mental breakdown. But after three trials in particular, I’ve decided that drinking very much alcohol leaves me SEVERELY depressed for about four days afterward. So I can’t have that. It was a nice experiment while it lasted, and I finally have a couple of experiences that so many Americans have had, so I feel slightly less left out (theme, much?). But I won’t have more than a sip anymore, and most of the time refuse that as well. I can’t risk any negative influences.