First, an apology. This will not be profound for you. This will not be interesting for you. This will be boring. I will use this to put down whatever comes to my mind when I’m in the mood to write it. I have so much to say but no structure. I have so much to tell you but no reason for you to listen. Don’t expect much and you won’t be disappointed.
I will write in large quantities at times, and at other times I will be silent. Don’t let this put you off. It’s just how I am and how I’ve always been.
I wish I could remember what the inner dragon represents. There is a Bill Moyer/Joseph Campbell interview that describes it in detail. However, I haven’t watched the interview in a decade and the inner dragon has likely come to represent, for me, something different than it originally did. So for me, the inner dragon once represented the parts of me I did not want in the light of day. Things I did not want other people to even suspect were part of me. But now, I think the inner dragon represents the only part of me left that is Genuine Me.
The inner dragon protects me. I have no sense of Self but I do have strong, visceral reactions to outer stimulus. I can feel off, or weird, or estranged, or distant, or out of body, or depressed, or anxious, or so many other things without knowing the root cause. I believe that if only I were to listen to these feelings and pause long enough when they first show up to find the root cause, perhaps I will have a chance at Real Life again. I’ll use my Inner Dragon as my guide and perhaps will become a Real Person again some day.